Friday, April 9, 2010

Spider bite

Disaster: have wedding to attend in 24 hours and a volcano has erupted on my left cheek. I suspect some spider or other minute creature had some kind of RAVE on my face whilst I slept last night.....cheek is swollen as though it's been punched with a knuckle ring, perhaps this spider was inspired by Mr T. Took the suggestion of friends to do a late night run to the 24 hour chemist, plead case with the unsympathetic 80yr old woman doing the graveyard shift. Whilst holding my left hand behind my back, frantically informed her of my plight - getting married tomorrow (why let the truth get in the way of a good story), have massive blemish on face, must get rid of it ASAP or risk losing (faux) husband.
She peered at me suspiciously from behind her counter and told me to simply 'let it be, i'm sure it will go away if you just don't scratch it dear.'
Apparently even being a bride doesn't get you any hard core blemish eradicating drugs. Either that or I'm just a rubbish actress.
Eventually after much pleading and begging she fished some sort of useless gel off the shelf and told me to apply it liberally. I have. It's not working. So apologies to the real bride who foolishly has me and my deformed face standing in front of the crowd doing the world's longest reading, but I hope your photographer is not opposed to airbrushing.

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