Who knew one would be subjected to judgement when shopping at the Queen Vic Market? You go there to peruse the fruit and vegetables, buy a few bananas (ok, 2 bananas), dabble in the exotic mushrooms, grab your $2 punnet of strawberries and head to the meat slautering aisle for some freshly sliced and diced foul, lamb or baby cow.
I made it through the fruit and veg section unscathed and my marital status unquestioned (despite only purchasing 2 bananas and 2 apples), only to take a stroll down Judgement Lane upon reaching the butcher.
Having eyed off a succulent looking piece of Porterhouse I waved the attendant over (does anyone know if a female butcher is known as a 'butcheress'?) gave her a smile and asked if she may be so kind as to sell me a steak. Yes, single, solo, one.
"How many miss?" she boomed at the top of her lungs (sounds even worse in a Chinese accent by the way), to which I replied "just the one"...and instantly I felt that old familiar nervous flush creep up my neck and into my cheeks.
Yes I am single and unmarried and purchasing steak for one. SO WHAT? Why would I purchase 2 - I don't want to eat 2 at once nor do I care to eat it 2 nights in a row. And let's face it - I probably wouldn't be single if I was one of those girls that wrapped, packed and dated their leftovers in the freezer!
As it is I'm not that organised which is precisely why I end up in Coles almost every single night with the same shopping list scribbled on a pink post-it. (Note: buying 5 items at a time is not a cost effective way of buying groceries).
But I don't need the stifled giggles or looks of pity when I'm just trying to get my weekly red meat intake. I mean I could come in with an A4 pad of paper, buy a meat medley for my de-facto and our 3 bastard offspring if I really didn't want to be single but I choose to hold out for THE ONE. And as yet he hasn't shown himself. Hence, thus and therefore I will continue buying steak for one - hold the judgement please.